This week’s Ask Alice: How to find a good Catholic husband (or wife)



Send A Question To Alice

She’ll answer your Catholic questions
right here, every Thursday.

Email responses will also be provided, as time permits.

SC asks: How come I can’t find any decent, good Catholic men? Help me please. God bless.

Alice answers: You don’t need to find several good, decent Catholic MEN. You only need to find ONE good, Catholic MAN!

The best way to find Mr. Right is to:
1) pray, 2) wait, and 3) love.

1) PRAY
Ask God to send you a good man to marry. You’ve heard the expression, “a match made in Heaven?” Since God initiates ALL relationships, let Him do the heavy lifting. All you need to do is keep your heart open. Sometimes, women have trouble finding Mr. Right because they’re busy seeking a man who meets all the requirements on their checklist: doctor, black hair, blue eyes, 6′ 2″, etc.

Have no expectations. Just keep your heart open wide and let God surprise you with love! Prayer worked, since God sent my Tom to me. Also, our children prayed to find their spouses. Before writing this column, I called each of them and asked.

At our older daughter’s engagement party, Mike, her fiance said he’d been praying that God would send him the right girl to marry. “And, if possible, can she be named Heather?” he asked. God perfectly answered Mike’s prayer when he married our Heather in 2003.

“Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

2) WAIT
“Be still before the Lord; wait for God…. Wait eagerly for the Lord and keep to the way.” (Psalm 37:4,34)

The biggest mistake of my single years was obsessing, instead of waiting for God to send a good man for me to marry. I fell in love with each of my boyfriends then sobbed my way through mountains of tissues every time a relationship ended.

If only I had realized
that God had a man and a plan for me!

God’s time is not our time. Relax and leave the love connection to God. When you’re not looking for Mr. Right, you’ll find him.

3) LOVE
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Love begets love. Focus daily on loving everyone: little old ladies, toddlers, neighbors, friends, relatives, coworkers. Volunteer at a food pantry, homeless shelter, or hospital. Become a catechist. Answer phone calls at a Crisis Hotline.

My friend, Lynn, met her husband, Chris, while praying in The Life Chain outside of an abortion clinic.

Help at park district programs for special needs children or adults. Volunteer at a nursing home. A 90-year-old resident might have a single grandson. Join a Bible Study group. Sing in the church choir.

Our parish liturgical musician, John, met his wife, Heidi, who sang in the choir.

You’ll meet kind, faith-filled people while doing volunteer work, since it’s kind-hearted people who give the gift of self to serve others.

Go out and socialize. Accept invitations to barbecues and parties.

Many of the best marriages are “set ups”. When your friend says, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” say “yes” immediately.

My college friend, Doris, introduced me to Tom. Each of our daughters met her spouse through a girlfriend.

Consider meeting a good man online. There are Catholic and Christian Singles’ websites. This summer we attended a wedding for Andrew and Lindsay, who met online. When Lindsay’s mother appeared embarrassed about her daughters’ online meeting, I assured her that my paternal grandparents, Stanley and Sophie, met through a singles’ ad in a 1913 newspaper.

SC, you’re in my prayers. Please let me know when God sends Mr. Right to you!

In Christ’s Love,

Alice

Click here to see all of Alice’s other columns

6 Comments

  1. i am a straight man that had been married at one time, and i was a very caring and loving husband before she cheated on me. we were together for 15 years, and we did have many wonderful times together. now going out all over again, and trying to find a real good woman to connect with is very difficult for me. the women today have certainly changed for the worse, since many of them now seem to not want to be bothered at all. i have noticed that much more women these days have a very bad attitude problem, and they think that they are all that since many of the women now have a very good high paying job. so many women now just don’t know how to talk too us men anymore without getting angry, and just will walk away. i certainly wish that we had women like June Cleaver and Donna Reed again, and they were very much committed to their men that didn’t have to make a lot of money to be accepted. today women are looking for men with a very large bank account, and that is very sad. i hope with God’s blessing i will be able to find a good woman to share my life with again.

  2. Thank you for these words. Please pray for a good husband for me.

    -Priscilla

  3. Please pray for me that I will find happiness in a good catholic man cause all my past relationship have always been bad.

    Vickey

  4. Thank you for this post. I have been praying and waiting for a good catholic man for 11 years. Can you please help me to pray for one?

    Thanks Shirly


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