On “gaytrimony” and “gayrriage”

by Doug Lawrence

Since we know that marriage between one man and one woman will always be the norm, and anything else would be so qualitatively different as to be something else entirely, I think it’s time to give that progressive new “state in life” where same sex couples choose to bind themselves to each other in a mutual covenant, a legal definition and corresponding name that is clearly different and absolutely distinct from traditional matrimony/marriage.

Instead of the word “matrimony” … which defines a holy covenant between one man and one woman … we can have “gaytrimony” … which legally defines something else, entirely.

Instead of the word “marriage” … which properly defines the state of holy matrimony between one man and one woman … we can have gayrriage … which legally defines a totally different state in life.

Pressure groups could go on to lobby the government for whatever particular benefits and privileges they might desire, but the integrity and proper definition of the holy institution of matrimony would never again be in danger of being hijacked, and the distinctive legal definition of both “states” would remain permanently and absolutely clear.

This way, everyone will be able to “have their cake and eat it too” yet there will be no doubt whatsoever that the particular “states” of  matrimony and “gaytrimony” will always remain quite different and distinct, despite any accidental similarities.

Some might call this just another version of “separate but equal” … but that’s only because the homosexual rights movement has been, up to now, politically linked to the issue of racial equality. And that’s just wrong, since sexual preference and race are two entirely different things.

There’s absolutely no personal choice in selecting one’s race, but there is always a great degree of personal choice in how one chooses to conduct himself/herself/itself  in regard to personal, particular sexuality … whether hetero, homo … or other.

That’s just the way it is.


  1. Lame jokes and lame post. Marriage was first a legal contract about property long before all the modern “sacred” nuances were added. In other words, marriage was a legal word coopted by religion — not the other way around. You are entitled to believe whatever you want. However, your days of obstructing equality and justice for all Americans are numbered. Guess who’ll be laughing then? And think about how embarrased your progeny will be of your documented bigotry. Laugh on.


    • I wasn’t joking. Marriage was invented by God, when he created Eve (not Steve) for Adam. Property had absolutely nothing to do with it. As for equality … homosexual unions will never be the equivalent of heterosexual ones, for a number of various and quite obvious reasons. As for justice … declaring one thing to be the equivalent to another, when it’s obviously not … isn’t just and isn’t right. It’s patently dishonest. My progeny will be just fine with this. Much better than the nonexistent progeny of homosexuals. And that’s no laughing matter.



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