You Might Be In a Liberal Parish If…

by Matthew Archbold

You might be in a liberal parish if…

…your family has to split up to find the tabernacle.

…the pastor wears an Izod shirt and introduces himself as “Steve.”

…there’s maraca’s in the band.

…your pastor’s last name starts with “Pf”.

…there’s a bin in the narthex with old copies of Commonweal.

…there’s more than three rainbow decals in the parking lot which actually match the pastor’s vestments.

…the intentions are about “treating our natural resources with respect” and no mention of the sacredness of life.

…they removed the candles for ozone reasons.

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1 Comment

  1. That fact that no one has yet commented on this post strongly suggests to me that anyone tempted to do so would be unable to stop his list of addenda, once started.

    Hence, I will sign off now, before any temptation hits me.

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