Today’s question: What you do not like about the Catholics?

Question: What you do not like about the Catholics?

Answer: Catholics are the spoiled, rich kids of the Christian faith, on whom God has always lavished his inestimable love, sanctifying grace, awesome power and tender mercies.

God provides Catholics with a wide array of extraordinarily effective, spiritual “tools” with which Catholics might act to secure their eternal salvation, in Jesus Christ.

Jesus also never fails to appear on every altar, in every Catholic Church, all around the world, every hour of every day, every day of every year, at Holy Mass, so that Catholics might (through him, with him, in him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, while giving great honor and glory to God the Father) faithfully renew the divine promise of Jesus’ one time, once for all, perfect and atoning sacrifice for the sins of the world.

It’s just not fair! Not fair, I tell you!

True Funeral Confessions: One-upping Pope Francis.

by Doug Lawrence

Pope Francis’ recent confession about stealing a cross from the dead body of a fellow priest reminded me of a funeral I attended a long, long time ago – and something that I had never before confessed.

It was a pleasant summer morning at the cemetery. The grave had been freshly dug and the customary Astro-turf had been put down all around the perimeter, with the casket-lowering apparatus set upon it. A nearby oak provided a modicum of shade for all those assembled.

My employer’s elderly mother had passed away, and I was attending the graveside internment ceremony. Since one of my fellow employees and I appeared to be strong, vital, young men, we were assigned as escorts for several of the elderly ladies in attendance.

Nobody told us precisely what we were supposed to watch out for or what we were to do. The idea was simply to stay close and offer whatever assistance might be necessary.

The internment rite competed, everyone prepared to pay final respects to the deceased, processing past the suspended casket and placing a flower on top.

My fellow escort took up a position in line, some three persons ahead of me. Then there were three elderly ladies – and me.

So far, so good!

The procession continued without a hitch, until the lady right in front of me began placing her flower on the casket. Somehow, in the proverbial “blink of an eye” – she disappeared!

Her scream was not very loud, but it was still blood-curdling. O-o-o-h! O-o-o-o-h!  O-o-o-o-o-o-h! as she slipped into the grave – already in up to her shoulders and still going down! Mouth wide-open. Pleading.  Eyes as big as saucers! 

Hell was about to swallow her up!

Such a thing would have seemed impossible, since there appeared to be only a few inches of clearances between the casket and the edge of the grave. But since the casket was merely suspended on a couple of nylon belts, there was nothing to stop a little old lady from pushing it aside and going right in. I’ll never forget the image, which has been permanently burned into my brain.

I managed to reach down and in one fluid motion, grab her right wrist and hand, pulling her up, out, and  instantly setting her right back on her feet.

She was OK. In fact, things couldn’t have gone better if we had practiced! I brushed her off a bit and we continued.

The incident was over – or so I thought.

Looking up to see how my escort “buddy” had fared during all of this, I was met with a smirk – which quickly escalated to a chortle – which quickly escalated into a full blown, out of control, “laugh-in-church” type of scenario.

The emergency successfully past and safely overcome, there was no denying the levity of the situation.

We had just experienced a rare and unusual happening and desperately needed to express our feelings. But we just couldn’t, right now!

So, red-faced and choking back tears, we respectfully made our way back to the car, rolled up the windows, and for the next ten minutes or so, laughed our respective butts off.

I’m sure the car was shaking, the whole time!

We like to think that our hysterical laughter might have been mistaken for grief.

Such is the nature of True Funeral Confessions. Feel free to send us your own stories.

Musings about Catholic clergy, malfeasance, cowardice, peace, luv – and blogging

Blogs like mine – and countless others – are the result of the genuine suffering and righteous anger of many sincere Catholics who feel that the post V II clergy are culpable of dereliction of duty in the gravest of ways, and possibly in an unprecedented manner in the history of Christianity.

Our elementary religious feeling simply rebels at seeing so much – I must say the word, because I find it appropriate – brown-nosing to the world, going on at all ecclesiastical levels since the beginning of the Sixties.

This, and nothing else, is what leads us to blog. I for myself would not even dream of being here at 11pm writing this angry blog post, rather than sitting with a good book, a glass of Porto and Schubert in the background, if I knew the clergy are doing their job.

If they did, blogs like ours would be of no interest for the reader even provided we were – which would not be my case – willing to write them. People would, very simply, follow the events in the Catholic world through the interviews, the homilies, the books, the blogs, the calls to battle of the good clergy themselves.

If we had a halfway decent clergy, every church would resound of their rage against the abominations and godlessness of our times, and the parish magazines would contain long lists of locally, nationally and internationally excommunicated politicians. Instead, the pulpits – if they are still used – are generally used for convenient waffling about peace, luv, social justice, & Co.

Read more from Mundabor

What to do when your parish comes down with the Kerygma

The late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
was know to be a frequent “sufferer” 

The Sunday homily as an integral part of the Liturgy of the Word, can only be renewed and energized by the Holy Spirit.

Kerygma or the proclamation of the Paschal Mystery should lead to metanoia, a progressive (or radical) conversion of the heart to the Gospel. But, it is the Holy Spirit who is the great “Converter” waiting to be “stirred up” or “fanned into flame” in the hearts of the faithful, through the preaching of Christ crucified.

As Pope Paul VI said in his very powerful apostolic exhortation “On Evangelisation”: “…the Holy Spirit is the principal agent of evangelization. It is he who inspires each individual to proclaim the Gospel, and it is he who causes the word of salvation to be understood and accepted.

It was not by chance that the inauguration of evangelization took place on the morning of Pentecost under the inspiration of the Spirit”. 7 It is noteworthy that the greatest aspect of the renewal of the Eucharistic Liturgy that Vatican II has brought is the introduction of the epiclesis, 8 right before the words of consecration of the bread and wine.

That is why preaching in the power of the Holy Spirit is essential. Hopefully, this kerygmatic preaching will elicit conversion which in turn awakens the desire in the believer for a deeper knowledge and understanding of the faith, which is catechesis.

However, what is sorely needed in our parishes, before faith formation or catechesis, which is, in itself, very important, is boldness in the kerygma, the proclamation of Christ crucified and risen.

Read more

The (free on-line) Archbishop Sheen Audio Library

“Smart” Francis corrects “Stupid” Francis

Giotto’s fresco depicting St. Francis’ Trial by Fire.

The musloids are on the left, slinking away.

Apparently this was all a terrible mistake on St. Francis’ part. He should have merely “encountered” the musloids in a spirit of “dialogue” and listened to their lies and then declared that they should all engage in good works and “meet each other there”.

Because, you know, there isn’t a “Catholic God”, and the god the musloids believe in is the same as the Triune Godhead, or something.

And God Himself being Goodness Itself, and good and evil being whatever the individual “conceives” them as being, “God” is whoever or whatever the individual says He, She or It is.

Thank “god” we have Smart Francis today, to correct all of the errors of “stupid” St. Francis of Assisi.

Read more from Ann Barnhardt

A colossal Catholic Church failure of such massive proportions, it boggles the mind!

Upside-down flag as a distress signal

by Doug Lawrence

Reminiscing about going to Catholic school in the 1950’s and 60’s in Chicago, when the post-war baby boomers swelled the ranks of the student body by a factor of two or three, we remembered the wonderful, Jesus-centered teaching Sisters who somehow managed to maintain control of their classrooms, in spite of having over fifty young children in their charge. They even managed to do it with a certain dignity, grace (and yes, even serenity) that’s seldom seen in this day and age!

Monthly tuition was generally less than $5 per student ($45 per school year) – with substantial discounts available for families with several children – and the quality of the education was unsurpassed!

It wasn’t uncommon to have three or more classes per grade level, with fifty or more children in each – all of them good little Catholic saints-in-training.

Thanks to the dedicated sisters and the Baltimore Catechism, the children actually knew all of the basic Catholic prayers – as well as who made the world, who God is, who man is, why God made them – and many other critically important Catholic concepts and truths!

Common sense tells us that such a huge wave
of well trained, superbly disciplined Catholic children
should have soon blossomed into the mainstream world,
profoundly and permanently changing things for the better,
elevating the public status of the Catholic Church to new heights
and attracting a virtual flood of new converts.

Only that’s not what happened.

You see – somebody came up with the idea to call a Church Council – and to use that Council to introduce strange, radical changes – supposedly intended to reinvigorate the decrepit, crumbling and hopelessly out of date Catholic Church of the Ages.

This would almost certainly usher in a “New Springtime” for the Church and initiate an era of growth, peace and unity never before seen by mankind.

Yeah … right!

What we got instead was a Catholic Church in apostasy and chaos, dominated by radicals and wackos who held distinct Protestant, Communist and yes, even Masonic ideologies.

For a time, it became a “know-nothing” church – where you couldn’t get a straight answer about anything. It was also seriously divided along secular political lines. Because of all this, and despite the misleading public facade, the Catholic Church was able to function at only a very minimal level.

A mere shadow of its former self, the “new” Church, for a time, was of little practical use to anyone – except for a precious few of God’s very elect – and of course – for many of the incompetents, homosexual pederasts, clericalists, heretics and careerists who remained (and unfortunately, still remain) in power.

When chaos reigns, almost anything goes!

This is what we baby boomer Catholics were faced with, as we went out to make our way in the world. Our “train” had wrecked and we found ourselves wandering alone, through an unknown spiritual landscape that was fraught with unparalleled confusion, corruption and ruin.

When we eventually managed to make our way back and reestablish contact with Holy Mother Church, we found that she had become almost unrecognizable!

Mark H. – one of our regular readers and frequent commenters – recently pointed out the type of damage that can occur when unelected liberal elitists who happen to be in charge of things, band together to arbitrarily recreate a community, in their own tragically flawed image and likeness.

For the Catholic Church, it meant the spiritual abortion
of nearly an entire generation of faithful Catholics.

For the world at large, it would soon mean
the literal abortion of millions of innocent babies,
along with the normalization
of many other abominable forms of moral apostasy.

This was, without a doubt, one of the most colossal failures
of moral leadership in the history of the modern world.

It should be noteworthy that it was the leadership
of the Catholic Church which was the first to fall,
opening the gates for all that would later come to pass.  

This “Mystery of Iniquity” is one of the reasons I keep coming back to 2nd Thessalonians 2:1-17:

(1) And we beseech you, brethren, by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and of our gathering together unto him:
(2) That you be not easily moved from your sense nor be terrified, neither by spirit nor by word nor by epistle. as sent from us, as if the day of the Lord were at hand.
(3) Let no man deceive you by any means: for unless there come a revolt first, and the man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition
(4) Who opposeth and is lifted up above all that is called God or that is worshipped, so that he sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself as if he were God.
(5) Remember you not that, when I was yet with you, I told you these things?
(6) And now you know what withholdeth, that he may be revealed in his time.
(7) For the mystery of iniquity already worketh: only that he who now holdeth do hold, until he be taken out of the way.
(8) And then that wicked one shall be revealed: whom the Lord Jesus shall kill with the spirit of his mouth and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: him
(9) Whose coming is according to the working of Satan, in all power and signs and lying wonders:
(10) And in all seduction of iniquity to them that perish: because they receive not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.
(11) Therefore God shall send them the operation of error, to believe lying:
(12) That all may be judged who have not believed the truth but have consented to iniquity.
(13) But we ought to give thanks to God always for you, brethren, beloved of God, for that God hath chosen you firstfruits unto salvation, in sanctification of the spirit and faith of the truth:
(14) Whereunto also he hath called you by our gospel, unto the purchasing of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(15) Therefore, brethren, stand fast: and hold the traditions, which you have learned, whether by word or by our epistle.
(16) Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God and our Father, who hath loved us and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope in grace,
(17) Exhort your hearts and confirm you in every good work and word.

*****

The violence – both spiritual and physical – continues unabated, to this day – and we Catholics have recently been advised by our Pope to stop obsessing about it.

Make of that whatever you like!

Unexpected resistance to “The New Evangelization”

Once upon a time on a sunny Saturday afternoon during the New Springtime following the Second Vatican Council, a well-meaning Catholic man worked up the courage to invite his Methodist neighbor to join him for Holy Mass.

After Mass the following morning, while enjoying coffee and donuts in the multi-purpose room (sponsored by the Knights of Columbus), the Methodist talked about how at home he felt and how comfortable the entire “service” was for him.

The Catholic wasted little time in seizing the opportunity to suggest that perhaps his neighbor might wish to avail himself of the unity for which Our Lord prayed by converting to the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

The Methodist, unfazed, wiped a dollop of Bavarian cream from his chin and replied, “Thanks for the offer, friend, but as you know, I am validly baptized. In other words, I received the Holy Spirit just as you did in your baptism, and it’s the Spirit that brings us into intimate union with Christ, so that He is the principle of the Church’s unity. Clearly I am not lacking in unity!”

Disarmed but not discouraged, the new evangelist laid hold of the big guns, firing back, “Yes, but the Catholic Church is the solitary means of salvation established by Christ.”

“We have now sunk to a depth at which the restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.”

See this and other “zingers” from George Weigel

Liberal social justice Catholics have drunk the Protestant Kool Aid

by Doug Lawrence

The Catholic Church in America appears to be almost evenly split between “libs” and “trads”.

For those who are new to these culture wars, “libs” might be described as Catholics who tend to be light on Catholic dogma and overly reliant on emotion and social work – especially when it  comes to things like voting for pro-abortion, pro-homosexual politicians and the government funding of various welfare programs.

“Libs” also tend to be less concerned about the liturgy, and often have a less than complete understanding and appreciation for the sacraments – especially the need for the absolution of sins in the confessional and the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist.

For “libs”, emotion generally trumps faith and reason and malformed conscience trumps all – leading to the scandal of high profile, pro abortion and pro homosexual Catholic (and Protestant) politicians infesting all levels of government – along with a plethora of seriously defective Catholic In Name Only (CINO) charities, social justice organizations and even, religious orders.

All of these characteristics are really nothing new for Protestant groups – but they are new for Catholics, since they were essentially put into place by the post-Vatican II “reformers/enablers/revolutionaries” and others who have subsequently learned to invent such things, for their own nefarious purposes, from “whole cloth”.

To sum it up: Like most Protestants, Catholic “libs” generally find it difficult or impossible to believe in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as Christ’s one time, once for many, propitiatory sacrifice for the sins of mankind, the Catholic Church as the “Barque of Peter” – the world’s only universal sacrament of salvation, according to the grace, mercy and forethought of Jesus Christ – and the Bible as the inerrant, Holy Spirit inspired, written Word of God – so about all they have left is social justice work – and their poor choices will almost certainly tend to perpetuate the continuing need for it! 

“Trads” tend to obtain their personal guidance through the exercise of faith and reason, based on a good working knowledge of the teachings of Jesus Christ, illuminated by two thousand years of Catholic Church Tradition, exquisitely reasoned, settled Catholic dogma and Magisterial teachings, the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, the lives of the saints and the Holy Bible.

Subsequently, “trads” tend to be very picky about the Masses they attend, the fidelity of the priests and bishops who minister to them, the integrity of the politicians who represent them in government, the causes they support, the Bibles they read and the sacraments they receive – most especially the Holy Eucharist, which they firmly believe to be the authentic body and blood of Jesus Christ, along with his soul and divinity.

The “trad’s” primary reliance on grace-giving sacraments – which for baptized Catholics, serve to engender and deeply nurture the cardinal virtues of faith, hope and charity, among others – is based on almost two thousand years of remarkably successful Catholic church history and tradition- which until fairly recent times, provided the spiritual underpinnings for all the best features of modern, western civilization.

For “trads”, faith and reason are employed in order to better understand the “mind” of the Catholic Church and hence, the mind of Jesus Christ, who is God and who will also be our final judge. Individual conscience certainly plays a big part – but only after all pertinent Catholic teachings and principles have already been carefully and prayerfully weighed and considered.

When “trads” need to get something done, they pray – often using the Rosary, or kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament – believing they will receive. Then, one of several things typically happens: 1) The problem simply evaporates and disappears (praise God); 2) The right course of action becomes apparent and that action is personally carried out, according to God’s grace, resolving or suitably mitigating the problem; 3) If it is within their limited area of competence – God sends a socially conscious Protestant, “lib” Catholic, or other person – to fix things; or 4) Life goes on as before – since even God isn’t willing to tackle certain problems that we create for ourselves, in this “valley of tears”.

Of course, there are exceptions and variations on both sides, but it’s just about that simple!

“Practical” Catholic social justice, in action

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked.

“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said.. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner, cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.”

Paraprosdokian Number 15: Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Submitted by Francis V.

Only in America ……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

ONLY IN AMERICA …

Only in America …….do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America …….do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America …….do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ………..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..

Only in America ……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

FINALLY …

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Faith and reason vs. emotions and feelings

by Doug Lawrence

After answering literally thousands of questions about the Catholic faith, on-line and via email, at least one thing has become perfectly clear to me: Religious belief is based on both emotion (feelings) and intellect (reason) … but emotion trumps intellect, just about every time.

A case in point:

A non-Catholic reader asked: Why do Catholics believe in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist, when the scriptures are clear that Holy Communion is nothing more than a symbolic commemoration?

I responded with a dozen Old Testament and New Testament Bible verses, some of them quoting none other than Jesus Christ, proving that scripture not only anticipates the Real Presence, but proves beyond a doubt that Jesus and the Holy Eucharist is the divine New Testament fulfillment of all the Old Testament prophecies.

I followed that up with numerous citations from the writings of the early church fathers, all of whom are in unanimous agreement that Jesus is truly present in the Holy Eucharist.

I mentioned the decrees of various church councils, the practices and beliefs of all the various Orthodox churches, and the fact that until the 15th century, every Christian on earth believed in the Real Presence.

Then I dealt with the various scientific and metaphysical aspects of the issue, followed by a definition of the word “sacrament”, along with some good examples of the most well known Eucharistic miracles.

Next, I explained the purpose and order of the Mass, and the central role of Jesus Christ and the Holy Eucharist in the everyday life of the world-wide church.

Finally, I pointed to the unanimity and consistency of belief, over a span of some 2000 years, on the Catholic side, vs. the many, varying, and often widely diverging opinions of the Protestant reformers.

Having responded in a clear, well organized, thorough, historical, theological, scholarly, polite, sensitive, charitable and forthright Christian manner, I clicked “send”.

A few days passed, and a reply to my original email had indeed arrived. It read:

Why do Catholics believe in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist, when the scriptures are clear that Holy Communion is nothing more than a symbolic commemoration?

Since I could clearly see the full text of my earlier response incorporated into this email reply, I assumed that the reader had also seen it.

Once again,  I responded … but this time, on a more emotional level:

Catholics understand, based on all available evidence, that anyone who refuses to believe in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist is almost certainly destined to spend an eternity in hell. Thanks for writing!

Being Jesus

Photo by Olena Bohovyk on Pexels.com

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson: ‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake.
I can wait.’ 

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ‘Ryan, you be Jesus!’

Submitted by Joan V.

A priest reaffirms his faith in the Catholic Church, in a strange kind of way.

Noah and family

The Catholic Church is like the Old Testament. There is Noah, lying drunk and naked. There’s Abraham disobeying God and taking his maid instead of his wife. There’s David ogling Bathsheba and plotting to kill her husband after he makes her pregnant. The same rich stink of sin wafts through the Catholic Church too, and that is what makes it seem real.

Read more

The whole “idea” is to (regularly, daily) perform some (minor) works in order to enhance your personal holiness, so that when you (eventually) die, the Blessed Virgin Mary won’t have to work too big of a miracle to “sneak” you into Heaven.

The Rosary and the Scapular are inseparable.
From The Carmelites.

Alligators not happy about Archbishop’s Lenten ruling

Alligator meat is permissible to eat on Fridays of Lent, the archbishop of New Orleans assured a conscientious parishioner, and his approval has been backed by the national bishops’ conference.

“Concerning the question if alligator is acceptable to eat during the Lenten season…yes, the alligator is considered in the fish family,” Archbishop Gregory M. Aymond wrote in a letter provided by the  New Orleans archdiocese.

Link

Political Catholic Question of the Day: How is that we find Catholics coming down on both sides of virtually every major political issue?

Question of the day: How is that we find Catholics coming down on both sides of virtually every major political issue?

Answer: About 50% of Catholics are liberal democrats. The other 50% of Catholics actually believe in God.

About those mail-in ballots…

The “Smoking Gun”

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