Cohabiting couples regret wasting years in relationships that would have lasted only months, had they not been living together.

Drawing from research and from her own experience working with young adults, Jay argues that there is actually something internal to the practice of living together that can put a future marriage on shaky grounds.

The decision to live together is often one that couples “slide” into simply because it is economical or convenient, she says. After moving in, they feel “locked in” because of all the entanglements of living together, such as co-ownership of furniture or pets, which can in turn lead to a mentality of sliding unreflectively into marriage.

Jay cites the situation of one her clients, a 32-year-old woman she calls “Jennifer,” who lived together with her boyfriend for four years, married him, and was looking for a divorce lawyer less than a year later.

“I felt like I was on this multiyear, never-ending audition to be his wife,” Jennifer had told Jay. “We had all this furniture. We had our dogs and all the same friends. It just made it really, really difficult to break up. Then it was like we got married because we were living together once we got into our 30s.”

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Submitted by Doria2

PASSAGES ON SEXUAL PURITY from the New Testament

Link to article

(NT Passages PDF file)

Civil unions and “shacking up”: Concubinage under a different name.

In the past 40 years, it seems, concubinage has come to light again under a different name.

Like ancient concubinage, contemporary cohabitation is a deliberately ambiguous relationship. The partners make no promises and have no legal obligations to one another. The arrangement has no specified duration and can be terminated at a moment’s notice. Those who cohabit tend to be of lower social status. Their children, on average, do not fare as well as children born to married couples.

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No Communion for those ‘living in sin,’ says archbishop in pastoral letter on cohabitation

First of all, we ourselves must be firmly rooted in the Gospel teaching that, when it comes to sexual union, there are only two lifestyles acceptable to Jesus Christ for His disciples: a single life of chastity, or the union of man and woman in the Sacrament of Matrimony. There is no “third way” possible for a Christian. The Bible and the Church teaches that marriage is between one man and one woman and opposes same sex unions.

We have three groups of people who are living contrary to the Gospel teaching on marriage: those who cohabit; those who have a merely civil union with no previous marriage; and those who have a civil union who were married before. These people are objectively living in a state of mortal sin and may not receive Holy Communion. They are in great spiritual danger. At the best — and this is, sadly, often the case — they are ignorant of God’s plan for man and woman. At the worst, they are contemptuous of God’s commandments and His sacraments.

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Catholic divorcees can still receive Holy Communion and go to confession as long as they are “not engaged in a permanent relationship”.

Catholic divorcees can still receive Holy Communion and go to confession as long as they are “not engaged in a permanent relationship”, the Curia has clarified.

“The official teaching of the Church states that those who are in a permanent relationship outside the Catholic marriage cannot receive the sacraments in a licit way.

“A divorced person (whether they divorced willingly or unwillingly) who is not engaged in a permanent relationship can receive the sacraments liberally,” a spokesman for the Church told The Sunday Times.

Link

Editor’s note: In the article, they don’t define a permanent relationship … but that would typically mean living together under the same roof … cohabiting. (We used to call that “living in sin.”) And of course, an annulment … if applicable … would leave a person free to remarry within the church.

Cohabitation: Training for divorce.

Steve and Terrie Nelson didn´t think they were doing anything harmful when they moved in together prior to their wedding. But a conversation with their pastor convinced them otherwise.

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