Catholic comedian Jim Gaffigan’s reflections on Pope Francis and the papacy

NewPope

It would be great if you had a kid that ended up being Pope. That would be the ultimate bragging rights! “Oh you’re son’s a doctor? Ours is Pope. Oh, yours has a nice house. Our son has his own city. It’s in Europe.”

It would have been weird to go to high school with the Pope. Somebody did! Somebody was sitting at home in Argentina watching TV: “Wait a minute — THAT GUY is Pope?”

It’s not easy being a Catholic today in America. It’s a little like being a Cubs fan for the last hundred years. Love the team, not crazy about some of the management we’ve had.

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So sick it’s funny: The Catholic year 2013 in review.

masks

Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o realized he had been duped into playing for fake a Catholic university, and in a controversial move, the Chicago School Board banned crosses and lower case T’s.

In February, parishioners were mystified by the sudden appearance of a mysterious “shiny, golden box,” which turned out to be a tabernacle.

Later that month, Vatican insiders confirmed that the reason Benedict XVI resigned was because the Roman Curia was too “fabulous” for him, revealing that Benedict was a simple man who could not keep up with the non-stop furniture re-arrangements, hair stylings, or near-hourly musical numbers he found himself surrounded by in the Vatican.

Of course, there’s more

“Biblical” Humor: Ancient Genesis Fragments Discovered

Adam and Eve in the Garden by Michelangelo

The accuracy of these prophetic texts
is nothing short of astounding.

“We have now sunk to a depth at which the restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.”

See this and other “zingers” from George Weigel

You Might Be In a Liberal Parish If…

by Matthew Archbold

You might be in a liberal parish if…

…your family has to split up to find the tabernacle.

…the pastor wears an Izod shirt and introduces himself as “Steve.”

…there’s maraca’s in the band.

…your pastor’s last name starts with “Pf”.

…there’s a bin in the narthex with old copies of Commonweal.

…there’s more than three rainbow decals in the parking lot which actually match the pastor’s vestments.

…the intentions are about “treating our natural resources with respect” and no mention of the sacredness of life.

…they removed the candles for ozone reasons.

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Cardinal-designate Dolan’s address to Pope Benedict and the College of Cardinals

VATICAN CITY — Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan has a great sense of humor so it came as no surprise to see his talk to Pope Benedict and the College of Cardinals this morning peppered with witticism and funny anecdotes.

His charm was so contagious he even made Pope Benedict laugh.

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Three Basic Religious Truths

There are three basic religious truths:

1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.