A little haircut, a pink zucchetto, she doesn’t shave for a veek, und presto! Vee have a Cardinal.

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“Cardinal” Sr. Joan

Moonlight streaks through moss-covered trees. In the middle of a clearing stands a black-domed structure – the secret hideout for the nefarious super-villain group SCHISM [Society of Catholycs Hellbent on Instituting Secular Modernism].

INT. SECRET HIDEOUT

One person is standing, a scowl on his face. It’s KING KÜNG (aka Hans Küng), leader of SCHISM. With him are REESE’S PIECES (Fr Tom Reese); McBRAIN (Fr Richard McBrien); RAINBOWKID (GLBTQ androgynous-looking character); LIVE CURRANT (Fr Charles Curran); COSMIC GIRL (Sr Joan Chittister); and the SOUR PATCH KID (YouthGen member from Call-to-Action).

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Adopt A Cardinal Campaign: Help keep wayward Cardinals off the mean streets of Rome.

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When you adopt a Cardinal on the above website, you will see his photo accompanied by a bit of his biographical information.  With your prayers, help the Cardinals elect a new pope, and help keep wayward Cardinals off the mean streets of Rome.

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Submitted by Alice H.

The secret diary of the most recent papal conclave

Sunday, 17 April. This afternoon I took a room at Casa Santa Marta. Setting down my bags, I tried to open the shades, as the room was dark, but it was impossible. One of my brothers had the same problem, and asked for help from the sisters in charge. He thought it was a technical problem. The sisters explained that the blinds had been sealed shut. Seclusion of the Conclave….A new experience for nearly all of us: out of 115 cardinals, only two had previously participated in the election of a pope….

With these words begin the “secret diary” of the conclave that led to the election of Benedict XVI on 19 April 2005 – the confidential, hand-written notes of an anonymous cardinal upon returning to his room after voting in the Sistine Chapel. This remarkable document, published in the journal Limes, allows a step-by-step reconstruction of the balloting process, raising the veil of secrecy that, by the will of the Popes, has always covered the conclave. From the cardinal’s notes obtained by the journal, we learn first of all that Ratzinger’s candidacy was extremely strong from the beginning.

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