Marriage Prep … Marriage Repair … Here You Go!


In marriage counseling I will sometimes ask the husband privately, Do you love your wife…Honestly now, do you really love her? The answer is not always obvious. Many people confuse mere toleration with love.  Because I put up with you means I must love you, somehow.

But my question goes deeper: Do you have a deep affection, a warmth, a compassion and desire for your wife? Do you like her? Some of the men who are more  honest with themselves realize that many of these qualities are no longer operative and that, at best, they have a tense toleration for their wife. And there are often protests as well:  Father, you don’t know how my wife can be!….She’s hard to love. (Actually I do have some idea. We priests are not mere bachelors and we too are called to love some people who are difficult to love). Love remains the answer. And so I inevitably invite the husband to pray for a miracle:

When you go home, get on your knees and pray for the miracle to really love your wife. Pray for the miracle of a tender and humble heart that will love her with a deep, abiding, compassionate, and passionate love. Pray to love her unconditionally, not because she deserves it, or has earned it, not because she feeds you or sleeps with you. Pray to love her “for no good reason.” Ask God to give you the same love he has for you. You and I are not easy to love, we have not earned God’s love and don’t really deserve it. But God loves us still the same. Yes, pray for a miracle. Your flesh may  think of 50 reasons to be resentful and unloving  toward your wife. Pray for the miracle to love her any way, deeply and truly. Pray for a new heart, filled with God’s love.

In the end, the only way to “handle” a woman is to love her.

Read more from Msgr. Charles Pope

Sex, chivalry, and shipwrecks: “Upper and-middle-class men had the lowest rate of survival on the Titanic.”

…men who are not reared to be courteous, to be gentlemen in service of ladies and children, often sink to the level of scoundrels. To paraphrase Voltaire, a belief in and fear of God are especially important for those in authority. They must fear a Higher Authority, who sees all that they do and who will mete out eternal punishment. Otherwise, they may do whatever evil pleases them. Voltaire also warned, “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” In 1948, Kinsey, the antithesis of a gentleman, caused millions to believe absurdities about the sexual morality of the Greatest Generation. Predictably, restraint slackened and sexual atrocities followed — and have skyrocketed.

Read the article by Matt C. Abbott

New USCCB Site: For Your Marriage

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For the men

manliness

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Summary: The Pros and Cons of Christopher West’s Work

bistro

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