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This week’s Ask Alice: How to find a good Catholic husband (or wife)



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She’ll answer your Catholic questions
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SC asks: How come I can’t find any decent, good Catholic men? Help me please. God bless.

Alice answers: You don’t need to find several good, decent Catholic MEN. You only need to find ONE good, Catholic MAN!

The best way to find Mr. Right is to:
1) pray, 2) wait, and 3) love.

1) PRAY
Ask God to send you a good man to marry. You’ve heard the expression, “a match made in Heaven?” Since God initiates ALL relationships, let Him do the heavy lifting. All you need to do is keep your heart open. Sometimes, women have trouble finding Mr. Right because they’re busy seeking a man who meets all the requirements on their checklist: doctor, black hair, blue eyes, 6′ 2″, etc.

Have no expectations. Just keep your heart open wide and let God surprise you with love! Prayer worked, since God sent my Tom to me. Also, our children prayed to find their spouses. Before writing this column, I called each of them and asked.

At our older daughter’s engagement party, Mike, her fiance said he’d been praying that God would send him the right girl to marry. “And, if possible, can she be named Heather?” he asked. God perfectly answered Mike’s prayer when he married our Heather in 2003.

“Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

2) WAIT
“Be still before the Lord; wait for God…. Wait eagerly for the Lord and keep to the way.” (Psalm 37:4,34)

The biggest mistake of my single years was obsessing, instead of waiting for God to send a good man for me to marry. I fell in love with each of my boyfriends then sobbed my way through mountains of tissues every time a relationship ended.

If only I had realized
that God had a man and a plan for me!

God’s time is not our time. Relax and leave the love connection to God. When you’re not looking for Mr. Right, you’ll find him.

3) LOVE
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Love begets love. Focus daily on loving everyone: little old ladies, toddlers, neighbors, friends, relatives, coworkers. Volunteer at a food pantry, homeless shelter, or hospital. Become a catechist. Answer phone calls at a Crisis Hotline.

My friend, Lynn, met her husband, Chris, while praying in The Life Chain outside of an abortion clinic.

Help at park district programs for special needs children or adults. Volunteer at a nursing home. A 90-year-old resident might have a single grandson. Join a Bible Study group. Sing in the church choir.

Our parish liturgical musician, John, met his wife, Heidi, who sang in the choir.

You’ll meet kind, faith-filled people while doing volunteer work, since it’s kind-hearted people who give the gift of self to serve others.

Go out and socialize. Accept invitations to barbecues and parties.

Many of the best marriages are “set ups”. When your friend says, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” say “yes” immediately.

My college friend, Doris, introduced me to Tom. Each of our daughters met her spouse through a girlfriend.

Consider meeting a good man online. There are Catholic and Christian Singles’ websites. This summer we attended a wedding for Andrew and Lindsay, who met online. When Lindsay’s mother appeared embarrassed about her daughters’ online meeting, I assured her that my paternal grandparents, Stanley and Sophie, met through a singles’ ad in a 1913 newspaper.

SC, you’re in my prayers. Please let me know when God sends Mr. Right to you!

In Christ’s Love,

Alice

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