Behold, I stand at the gate and knock. If any man shall hear my voice and open to me the door, I will come in to him and will sup with him: and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)

JesusKnocking

As I was going under there was a defined period of blackness, not a color, but a sense, all around me, even inside me, this wasn’t the usual fade out, I was being given a message. I woke up in the recovery room, with my wife by my side and the next couple of weeks with all the medicine I wasn’t quite myself.

Over the next month I started to develop this debilitating fear: That blackness kept haunting me, always anxious, could not keep my hands steady, fear of failing my family. This was completely opposite of my normal personality. But the seed that had been planted was starting to develop. I sought the help of professionals, to no avail.

One evening when I was talking with my wife’s aunt, she suggested I might want to talk to a priest. I had been thinking about it anyway. I was pretty sure God had given me a message: I need to change my life, I need to be baptized.

As soon as I started thinking about my life in this way, everything started to make sense.

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